2014 - The Year Ataru Didn't Want a 2nd Date

Jan 1, 201519 min read

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Published: Jan 1, 2015

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2014...its hard for me to really figure out what exactly 2014 was outside "the year that just passed". It wasn't a massive or important year regarding myself, but it was a rather crazy year none-the-less. A year where I learned more about myself than I wanted to know, where life tended to happen way more than wanted it to, and where I think I finally truly grew up regarding certain facets about who I am, especially regarding in regards to love and finding the right girl even if I'm in the same condition at the end of this year as I was at the end of last. I went through a lot, as did all of you, and somehow I was able to get a lot both written down and commished to at least bide my time or have fun. (though an admission of my own: considering I now have filled 9 pages of my gallery in this year alone, I wonder if I created way too much, whether in art or commishes...)

At the end of 2013, the only thing that I wanted to get out of the year was a breakthrough...I think it did sort of happen personally but its tough to say if it really happened in any facet in my art. I'll get into the personal stuff but the breakthrough there is more about figuring out who I am and being happy with who I am. I'm still the same idiot as I was: a nerdy, tokusatsu-watching, sarcastic but strange, straight Jewish male of Eastern European descent living in a decaying city like Philadelphia (and still wanting out of this place), but I'm more comfortable in my own skin and what I need to do now than I was at the end of last year. One thing I did set out to do that I really wanted to do (even if it took way too many tries and nearly to the end of November to get to it) was my celebration for Lily, which happily not only had a ton of pics I commished...but actual content and a story from me, writing about her seriously for the first time in 10 years! I really should congratulate myself for somehow doing something so obvious as "writing a tale" considering the difficulties I tend to go through regarding it. Actually I did write quite a few tales this year, alongside my Sentai guides that seem to finally catch on with a few people happy to say; so while I didn't have a massive event that everyone on DA (or even all my fans) rallied around, I am happy with my own performance and did keep to my '13 promises so...maybe a breakthrough happened and I just didn't acknowledge or realize it?

Moving to the personal side, this has been a year where I've been through a lot more "love problems" but it wasn't as terrible or as bizarre as last year. In fact I think that both situations, regardless of how they turned out, has changed me for the better and made me change in a way I needed to after last year:

The first happened around April of this year, weirdly starting on the day I went to the Cherry Blossom festival in Washington, DC and had this obsession in getting a girlfriend and one who loves me back put on a wish tree there. When I got back, I got an inquiry from a girl from Vietnam of all places named Diep: she was adorable and she really seemed to get it off real well with me. We talked every day and we even traded naughty pictures of each other. Sure there was a 12 hour difference but we figured that we could somehow work it out and it would be alright. Unfortunately...things that typically would hurt a long distance relationship, especially of this kind, eventually did rear their ugly head one after another. First is the whole factor that she lived in Vietnam...and wanted to see me. She kept saying "I can't go to your country" and wanted me to come to hers, but Vietnam is still not quite in the best relations with the US even if things have vastly improved: you still need a visa and you can only get it in country and pick it up at the airport once you arrive! So we did sort of try to work out maybe somewhere else to meet (maybe Singapore probably) but it wasn't the best of intentions. More importantly was the factor of time: regardless of living 12 hours away, she still seemed to expect me to be on the web all the time to talk to her while she could go about and have a life in the meantime, especially when I had work. I spent may weekends (particularly Sundays) waiting for her and not doing a thing while she didn't show up and yet she wanted me there at her call. And to make it stupider, whenever I saw her online, particularly about 10 at night, I tried to say "hi" to at least keep things going and show my consideration, even if she didn't show up until a few minutes before I had to go to bed due to being strict on when I sleep for work! It was over four months after it started, in the middle of August, that I knew it was over: she bluntly asked me why I said "hi and bye" immediately whenever she came on, seemingly forgetting or not even realizing that we had twelve hours separating us and that I had as strict a schedule as she did. It was then that I just had to break it off and not even speak to her anymore. If she wasn't accommodating to me, why should I accommodate to her? I wasted so much time for her that it wasn't funny anymore and that was that. I still can't believe what I went through those months but it just taught me a lesson regarding long distance relationships: if neither side is willing to compromise for the other, it won't work.
The other was something that happened involving a girl that I mentioned at the end of the 2013 recap last year, the one who talked to me for a month and then broke it off because she got back together with her boyfriend. I kept her, Sam, on my Facebook cause I still wanted to be her friend. Things didn't go as well this year for her as I thought and I really felt sorry for her, especially with the man she wanted having so many problems and the two of them just had to break it off. I started talking to her again, not too long after the Diep fiasco ended, and we started getting along again, really chatting it up. She seemed more understanding and fun and I did want to at least meet her once. It took several months, a ton of anticipation building up especially since she and my sister started to talk to each other and she was invited to go up with us to the Hudson Valley to check out the Doctor Who restaurant up there. We finally did meet back a couple weekends ago and we did get along...but it was that long weekend, having Sam around, that I started to realize something. First was the weird pressure in the back of my head: if this was a girl I really wanted, I would have been glad to deal with it...but somehow I had this feeling that it just didn't feel right. There was also the fact that I just didn't get the whole "attraction" that I realize one needs with a female; yes you can say emotions and mentality are important but you still need the physical. But then there was the biggest factor: she and my sister got way better along that the two of us. They were having fun, giggling it up all over from the house to the restaurant and all that. I had a good time traveling to the Hudson valley but I felt a massive sigh of relief when I returned to Cape May to drop her back off and I didn't realize why until I thought it over: Sam wasn't a girlfriend, she was my long-lost little sister. I didn't want her in a way that she wanted me and I knew it. Just the last weekend I finally explained it and she seemed rather accepting of the whole thing in the end. I hope she still wants to talk as friends but its tough to say now its all over.

I would say that 2014 was a bit of a failure considering I still don't have a girlfriend but I somehow feel happier than I've been. I don't know why, whether the heartbreak has made me mature in a different sort of way or if I'm maturing in some other fashions while not maturing in others. I have discovered that I am enjoying many silly things now that I didn't before or hadn't since I hit the late teens and college, as if the "20s lull" that tend to hit has gone away and I have fully decided to embrace whatever I embrace; its some sort of weird feeling but there it is. (like weird nick-nacks at Sharper Image stores) Somehow I'm happier in my own skin now even if I can't get a girl; its hard to say that but somehow its just that I like who I am and don't mind how weird I can be...even if I do drink hot tea at the movies while everyone else gets huge carbonated beverages. (nothing wrong with carbonated beverages but they're huge and overpriced at the movies!)

On other fronts such as with my family and such, it has been an up-and-down year. Most of 2014 was dealing with my sister and her own depressions, particularly the familiar "I don't have a job" and "I can't get married". The former has sort of been dealt with since she got a nice part-time job she actually found on Craig's List with an accountant; but the latter...well the two of them have their own weird problems but I don't want to get into them and don't care to anyway. Mom made me pay for another huge project this year, this time involving a ceiling collapse and a new floor (both for the living room); we put in with an insurance adjuster but they sort of screwed us over, but we're fighting to at least get...something back at least. My '14 vacations weren't that extravagant due to the pipe burst in '13, but they were fun regardless: the trip to Virginia was a nice run through the Charlottesville area avoiding all the crowds and getting great food and nice history out of it; while the Maine trip was bizarre due to not getting anything I wanted (seriously the closest I got to Bar Harbor was the beer/soda shop somewhere between the main island and the mainland!) but still a relaxing weekend even if not what I expected. I even got a short day-trip to Mt. Vernon and the aforementioned trip to Beacon, NY in the process, so it wasn't a complete wash for traveling.

The toku watches for '14 were all interesting in some facet or another. I was able to finish 6 Sentai again this year, finally seeing Gorenger (a lot of fun and the best of all of the ones for the year I admit), Dynaman (underrated), Maskman (crap), Jetman (interesting but with too much love stuff), GoGoFive (mediocre?) and Goseiger (ambitious but with problems; though underrated compared to others of its era). Only did two Rider series but they were interesting at least: Skyrider started fun but had a lot of problems even with worthwhile aspects (the Rider revisits), while Faiz felt cerebral but only in the sense of "who the heck knows what from whom and how is lack of knowledge going to screw others over". Metal Heroes wise: Jiban started out fun but then lost me with the alien female overlord starfish (WHAT THE HELL DID SHE HAVE TO DO WITH ROBOCOP VS. A BIOTERRORIST!?!?!?!); while Metalder is extremely underrated considering its own sad story in production and really worthy of having been used in a US adaptation.

Artwise on my end, I really wasn't as prolific as I thought as I was, but I did have a few successes inspired by quite a few sources, mostly due to inspiration by others. In March I did a slight historical "origin" for Biishiki by the inspiration of

, laying out the world of the oni-girl prior to Georgina Momozono; while likewse inspired by

and an old pic of his for a "transformation in progress tale", while my friend

made me write a tale for my own birthday (well a "Fan Mail-esque" one featuring Quinn and a forgotten character) and I wrote a tale for

to help him along due to his own feelings for a character he didn't feel anything regarding. The only real success on my end that was all my own and not inspired by anyone else was something I am actually happy I went through with: a 10th anniversary tale for Lily Coleman, my first true character (not from a nearly-aborted tale I finished later) that explained more about her in the end in parallel to her original appearance in "Stimulus". Accentuated by quite a few pics from all sorts of artist (

and

) and I think it was my biggest and best presentation for '14, an easy success. I think I really should do this again with another girl but I have no idea how it would go about and if it would be as successful, so I think I should just congratulate myself for this one working out for Lily. Otherwise I actually blew my way through Fan Mails from 37 to 49(.251) and am working my way to #50 currently, while doing more Rashid commercials (hit #20) and shockingly a new silly series for "Selenechat", involving mostly chat for werewolves and whatnot.

Regarding the star of the year, Lily probably could be it, but I think somehow Julie Hopkins likewise built upon what she had last year, mostly due to quite a few appearances such as the Viro sequence I'm currently doing, a pic by

, a

three-stager and, most impressively, a short AP-esque transformation courtesy of

. However the GAPAS girls shouldn't be ignored as well, especially since they had a huge year as well. While Layla easily had some great pics including a return of her with

(her co-father),

and

, it was actually Momo who had a huge year with her cute pic with a similarly growing fan in another Higalack pic. (heck that pic had more faves than any one of Layla's!) Most of my established characters actually had a great year when they had pics from one artist or another:

*Quinn, being Quinn, had a few pics of herself and her Hyde otherself of note, such as

giving her a new Valentines alter-ego as "Heartbreaker" and dressing her fully in her Halloween pic from last year, a bigger (than usual) of both her and Hydie via

; a

pic thanks to

of Hydie prior to her going from transformation to "cute mode", a

gift showing Quinn's pouting at Hydie's hugeness,

having Hydie in hug mode and even a

pic showing her bigness...and her big drills. (and that's not talking about all the times

depicted her, particularly in her new favorite "princess" appearance. And of course DocWolph expertise brought forth a full Quinn/Hydie transformation for all of us to witness...

*Tomoko actually got two pics of note this year, thanks to

and a

commish thanks to

Tomoko: Well at least that keeps you off the chopping block this year, Ataru.

Quinn: For what!?

Tomoko: Ignoring me, of course.

Quinn: What an egotistical...

Hydie: (internally) Sweetheart!

Quinn: That wasn't what I was going to say...

Hydie: Taeko?

Quinn: WHO IS TAEKO!?!?

Tomoko: Beats me.

"Voice in Tomoko": I'm here, master! Just give me some time!

*I seemed to have a thing for Brittany this year that finally caught on with people, particularly due to pics by

and several adorable ones with

as well as Hino drawing her as Quinn's Valentine's counterpart, "Dreammaker".

*Desing also gave me another gorgeous pic of Victoria Everett, breaching out in full mermaid form.

*Olivia had a huge showing this year in several forms, such as

hinting at what her eyes really look like, an adorable

pic I got from

and a transformation courtesy of DocWolph for a contest she won earlier in the year.

*Sheri had a bit of a comeback as well this year, with

giving her an adorable pic of her Halloween costume from last year, as well as

giving her a workout accompaniment alongside Quinn's previous one.

*Ming too had a bit of a return from

and an appearance in this year's Halloween pageant.

*Not as much Heather this time around but

gave her a great pic thanks to

*Quite a few newer girls had their moments as well, whether brand new such as my new busty model Carmen (from pics from

showing her as Angel's rival) and the new hippo girl

drew on a trampoline (let alone

drawing a gator that I devised with

) to some of my newer girls such as Xiaofan (

did one of her alongside my Marauders), Carol Ann (

did her cute) and Hilda (just Marauder and Hino...so far); not to mention my mice Ruth and her new rival Mia!

*And of course

gave us the great and fun Halloween pageant with a lot of females, both old and new.

Sure I probably am missing a ton of great art but I got so much this year that probably I couldn't just keep track of them that easily anymore. I did promise to tone it down but...I guess not, huh?

Regarding where I stand for 2015, I really don't need the breakthrough that I needed for 2014 and got (sort of), but I do think I have to become more active in my own ways. I have to get back out there and make myself known so that I can grab the world and get what I want to out of it instead of just hoping for the best and ending up with the dregs. I feel I can do it after my previous failures but somehow I know that things will get in the way. I am way more confident than I've ever been and, winter blues not withstanding, feel things are just going to go up from here in my life. Storywise, I want to finish the big 50th Fan Mail and I do have ideas of what to do after that; maybe it will require some planning and it will develop something new in my mind that I had came up with this year but it should be fun if it works out...and if not, that's life. So with that said, happy new year to all...and if anyone sees Shear around, tell her that she can do whatever she wants this year and no one will bother her otherwise...but she'd probably want to kick our butts anyway so maybe another sheepgirl is in order...