SFM 83 (Talent Show) - Conclusion

(The screen comes on with a caption photo similar to Pt. 1 of SFM 83 with several pictures, including Kathy Webb arguing with her mother Cecelia, both in cougar form, Hydie singing “Don’t Cry Out Loud” like at the end of the previous story, and the infamous “Tomoko with a Hamburger” picture)

Pam: (off-screen) Good day, once again, and welcome to the second half of our “Fan Mail for the Stranger” broadcast.  I have been informed by Mr. Ataru that we will be returning to Elstree for the conclusion of this storyline, but first Ms. O’Neil would like to do the recap, so please bear with us, ladies and gentlemen.

(she taps some paper off-screen and the screen fades in to what appears to be a “recap” akin to the 1960s Batman TV show, with Gail narrating ala William Dozier and with a freeze-frame and a ping after every comment by the “recapper”)

Gail: On the previous “Fan Mail for the Stranger”, we have seen…

(Clip from the opening)

Gail: A celebrational opening…

(Clip of Kathy)

Gail: A young, enthusiastic cougar…

(Clip of Cecelia)

Gail: And an actual older, loving cougaress…

(Clip of Quinn and Tomoko puppets)

Gail: Co-hosts made of felt…

(Clip of Gail)

Gail: An awesome judge…

(Clip of Lily; but from the opening and not from her judging)

Gail: And a very striped judge…

(Clip of Sheri bound up by Heather)

Gail: Worst enemies working together…

(Clip of Hydie singing "I Do I Do I Do I Do")

Gail: And a nightmarish prelude...

(Clip of Haruna)

Gail: An extremely novel opening…

(A scene that is supposed to be Linda but with a card that states “Please Pardon Our Appearance” with a picture of Gail’s transformed state with a broom; Linda is nowhere to be seen)

Gail: And a classy one to follow…

Linda: (off-camera) Hey, what about my act, Gail!?

(She ignores it and cuts to the next number in the recap, which is Leena's ukelele)

Gail: A ukelele song...

(Clip of Julie stripping)

Gail: And a very unclassy talent...

(Clip of Penny singing)

Gail: A bison showing off her diamond...

(Clip of Carol Ann's intrusion)

Gail: Ut-oh, trouble's brewin' in the South!

(Clip from the end where Xiaofan tackles her)

Gail: But a save from the Far East!

(Clip of Allison on the piano)

Gail: A kitty on the piano...

(Clip of Tomoko interrupting)

Gail: But with an abrupt finish...

(Clip of Zhen's snowflake)

Gail: An icy reception...

(Clip of Cindy mid-TF cheering)

Gail: And a cheerful revue...

(Clip of Erica at the synthesizer)

Gail: A very bizarre climax...

(Clip of Lenore rockin')

Gail: And a very rockin finale!

(Clip of Mahna Mahna)

Gail: But strange things are afoot...

(Clip of Hydie singing "Don't Cry Out Loud")

Gail: And someone has crashed the party!  Is this the end of our heroines?  The answer...now!

(The camera swirls as if transitioning into the Batman opening but instead cuts to Kathy, wearing nothing but a bra and panties in her werecougar form, seeming to talk to the side of the camera)

Kathy: (sounding exhausted) See, this is what I have to deal with every day with my mom!  As many of you tend to forget, much of this isn’t merely just mutation; I had to work hard, almost like a slave at my mom’s insistence, just to be like this, all as my mom flirts with every male companion I try to bring into the household!  Can’t you see from my exhaustion…that I deserve a break…

(Sees the camera back on)

Kathy: Oh…sorry about that, folks. Things got a tad hairy for a while here, but I think we’re back and ready to announce our finalists.  (to the box) I hope you got it out of the system there, Quinn!

“Quinn”: (puppet rises up but obviously with Hydie’s voice) Hi, I’m Quinn! I’m a cynical brat who can’t acknowledge any good things in the world without being against it!

Tomoko: (puppet, in box) Hey, what about the rest of your act, Quinn? (giggles)

Hydie: (offscreen but playing with Quinn’s puppet as if responding) Oh that?  I just wanted to sing one song; I thought it would be fun to spend the rest of this helping you out.

Tomoko: But wouldn’t it be easier…and more spacious…up here if you let Quinn do this instead of…well, you?

Hydie: (cutely) But why would I do that!?  Playing with puppets is so much fun!

Quinn: (in box, as puppet but supremely angry) THAT PUPPET JOB WAS ALL I HAD FOR BEING HERE, HYDIE!  I DON’T WANT YOU RUINING WHATEVER REPUTATION I STILL HAVE WITH YOUR SWEETNESS AND LIGHT!

Hydie: (cutely) Any problems you cause are completely your own, Quinn-dear.  I am the means by which to prevent you from going too far.

Quinn: (in box, grumbles) My only problem is that I ever had a “good side” to begin with for that stupid formula to manipulate.

Tomoko: Seriously, it’s just too cramped in here being squished next to you, Hydie.  Why do you have to be so big?

Hydie: (cutely) That’s my charm! (giggles)

Taeko: (in box, fidgeting) It would be worse if I were there too…I suppose…

Kathy: Are you two ready to go?

Meiko: (rises up from side as if from the corner) Hey, what about me?

Hydie: (using Quinn puppet) Oh hey there, my dear Meiko!  How are you doing?

Meiko: (cutely) My master is lying on the floor like a bear rug so I can be here but otherwise…

Hydie: That sounds terrible!

Meiko: Do you know how hard it is to be a supremely busty she-bear and laying there like a den ornament?  But she loves doing this so sacrifices have to be made.

(Quinn in the “thought box” imagines a den with a “Kumako bear rug”, complete with goth-loli maid bonnet, lying flat on the floor; then it somehow shifts into a massive dakimakura pillow of Kumako, still in maid bonnet but turned over and completely nude with her bust and muscularity in full pillow form in “adoring” facial expression; before by its side a pic of a Brittany dakimakura in human form wearing goth loli outfits and drilltails likewise “fluffed up”, particularly in her bosom with a caption stating “NOW IN HUMAN FORM” right by the Kumako dakimakura.  She shakes it off)

Quinn: (in box) Really, the whole thing is ridiculous.  Like anyone would want to buy that…

(But suddenly she imagines seven dakimakura of Hyde girls in a box, showing Hydie, Taeko, Leela, Kiera, Mina, Aditi and Mikhyela one after the other and a caption “HYDEGIRL DAKIMAKURA: COLLECT THEM ALL!” before Quinn nonchalantly pops that bubble)

Quinn: (in box, angry) THAT’S EVEN WORSE!

Hydie: Well, it’s just good to have you here!

Tomoko: And it’s even better you found your own space; having a Hyde and a she-bear squished with me would make me look like a chiropractor patient when it’s all over.

Kathy: (now wearing a more formal blazer and skirt combo despite being a cougar anthro) So, with what’s going on there resolved…

Hydie: (off-screen) I think Meiko’s partner should be under here so she could have more space to move.

Tomoko: (off-screen) Are you kidding, Hydie!?

(Kathy ignores them)

Kathy: …it’s time to bring an end to this Talent competition.  As seen last time, we had ten performers showing off various talents, both notable and unusual.  Before we can announce our five finalists, let’s bring them all back one more time.  Mostly so it would just be easier on all of us, I asked that the ten competitors return to their “normal” forms for the finale.

Tomoko: Smart decision, considering you have the likes of Zhen or Lenore probably scaring everyone.

Hydie: (cutely, waving Quinn puppet) Awww…but I wanted them to stay in their transformed states!

Meiko: (cutely) Me too!

Tomoko: (sighs) Am I the only sane one left up here.

Kathy: So let’s bring them out once again, this time from oldest to newest.  First, from Fan Mail #3, published June 7th, 2007, Leena Calloway!

(Leena appears wearing her flower beret and a Cubs T and jeans)

Kathy: From Fan Mail #8, published August 27th, 2007, Liu Zhen!

(Zhen appears in a smaller qipao than the one she wore in dragon form, with her hair up in a bun)

Kathy: From Fan Mail #13, published October 28th, 2007, Allison Hall!

(Allison just appears in an outfit similar to the one she wore playing the piano)

Kathy: Moving forwards in time a few years...from Fan Mail 32 from July 17th, 2013, Julie Hopkins!

(Allure Julie remains and appears in a white evening gown accentuated by her topaz; she notices she has a pom-pom in a hand and just tosses it back behind the curtain)

Kathy: (surprised) Well that was weird.  From Rashid's House of Mutation #15, from September 15th, 2013, Linda Isabella!

(Linda appears in a similar outfit to her tigeress form, but as a human)

Kathy: From Fan Mail #42, from April 23rd, 2014, Penny Kane!

(Penny appears with a beret of a Native tribe in her hair wearing moccassins, a button shirt and jeans)

Kathy: From Selenechat #5, New Years Eve, 2014, Cindy Snow!

(Cindy appears in a copy of her cheerleading outfit; she joyfully bounces on stage with three pom-poms, trying to give one back to Julie who just hides it behind herself)

Kathy: From Selenechat #6, New Years Day, 2015, Lenore Usher!

(Lenore appears in a rock outfit in her human form, with her hair down as if a rock star.

Kathy: From Fan Mail #53, from May 3rd, 2015, Haruna Ushizono!

(Haruna appears in a very constricting business suit, though shows a sly smile on why she's wearing it.

Kathy: And our most recent competitor, from Rashid's House of Mutation #21, May 27th, 2015, Erica Adams!

(Erica remains in the outfit she wore when she performed her Zappa-esque work; they all stand in line)

Kathy: As it stands, ten stand before us.  Within a moment it will just be five.  And then, the second-chance winner will be revealed.  Tomoko...um, is Tomoko still up there?

Tomoko: (off-screen) Look I'm going through a very troublesome moment about now thanks to these two, so either invite me down or make it quick.

Kathy: I just want to know where the envelope for the five finalists will be.  Was anyone keeping track of it?

Tomoko: I'm not the one running it, dear.  I'm willing to look if you need me to so...

"Cute Voice": (off-screen) Don't worry, Tomoko, it's right here!

(Candice, wearing a cute outfit but rather undersized due to her abs and part of her massive chest being seen, runs right onto the stage.)

Candice: (cutely) Sorry, I wanted to come out and help earlier, but onii-chan called me because he was worried about me being out here on my own.

Kathy: (confused) Onii-chan?

Tomoko: Just ignore her and reveal the finalists.

Candice: (tapping her fingers) My onii-chan is so worried; I shouldn't have left him back in the states but they wanted me to be out here as part of this.  I should be in the competition because I didn't win either but it didn't feel right.  If I couldn't do it with onii-chan here...

Kathy: (tries to skirt Candice along) Yeah, yeah, let's just move on now.

Candice: (to camera) Onii-chan, I'm doing fine!  I love you!  I love you so mu...

(She's shoved off the stage by Kathy, allowing for one final glimpse of the ten finalists to themselves before the reveals)

Leena: I still wonder if playing Soundgarden on the ukelele was too much?

Zhen: I know I won.  And then Quinn and I will play. (giggles)

Allison: I didn't practice my act enough, I knew it.

Julie: Heh, like a cheerleading act was going to let me win this.  It's in the bag.

Linda: I liked my act but I still think Gail's ego's getting in the way.

Penny: I dunno...was Neil Diamond just too much?

Cindy: W-I-N.  I know I have this.

Lenore: I know I made an idiot of myself, but it was better than some other acts I could have done.

Haruna: Not sure what to tell the subordinates if I win...eh, I'll just say they think I'm a good manager.

Erica: Maybe I should have done something with the hotness formula...nah.

(Kathy returns to the stage with the envelope and opens it)

Kathy: Well with that distraction done...we'll be announce the finalists.

(She opens the envelope)

Cecelia: Wooo, go for it dear!

Kathy: (blushing) Anyway, the first finalist is...MISS LIU ZHEN!

Zhen: (excited) YES, I WIN!  I WIN!

Kathy: (pats her down) Not yet...this is just the final five.  Second is...MISS CINDY SNOW!

Cindy: (happily) YAY!  I DID IT!  HEY, IVY, ME AND LENORE DID IT!  GO, FIGHT WIN!

Kathy: Third is...MISS HARUNA USHIZONO!

Haruna: (chuckles) Well what a surprise.  Still got it with my hula-hooping, huh?

Kathy: Fourth is...MISS JULIE HOPKINS!

Julie: (tears up in happiness) Class...it was all about class.  That's all I needed, wasn't it?

Tomoko: (to herself) I think I remember something bad about her from last time but it just feels a bit like a blur.

Taeko: (in box) I'm just happy she made it this time after her explosion in the swimsuit contest. (sweatdrop)

Kathy: And the final finalist is...

(The camera pans on the six remaining girls: Allison looking nervous as ever, Leena checking her nails for no reason, Linda staring at Gail who waves at her from the stage, Lenore looking proud, Penny waving at the camera, and Erica just looking oblivious into space...)

Kathy: Well...this is a surprise.  I need to do a coin toss for the last position.  Two of you have tied...but we sort of need to go with only one so...(pulls out a coin and flips it, sees the result and then yells) THE LAST SLOT IS FOR LINDA ISABELLA!

Linda: (shocked) I...got in...by a coin toss...(tears appear) a coin toss...got me in!?

Kathy: (surprised) It was between you and Lenore but you two tied so...

(Lenore looks at Linda and approaches her)

Lenore: (adoringly) Dear.  You had a good act.  Good luck.

(And then, abruptly, kisses her on the lips before walking towards Cindy)

Lenore: It's up to you, kid.  Knock 'em dead.

(The pink-haired meganekko walks towards the side of the stage, her eyes closed but with tears in them as Linda remains shocked)

Linda: I...I don't know what to say.

(But without warning, Allison faints on the floor, forcing Kathy over to her)

Kathy: (shocked) Allison...Allison...are you OK?

Allison: (weakly) I...I'm just glad it's over, that's all.

Penny: (approaches the black-haired girl) Hey, neither of us got in, so it's no worry.  We'll have our day.

Allison: I'm just happy that today isn't it, that's all.

Penny: Sort of the same.  I think doing that song made me look ridiculous.  I should have done a demolition act.

(Allison loses consciousness as Penny carries her off)

Kathy: Well...everyone's taking this...well...

Erica: (upset) I was robbed!  All that hard work, just like back in school, and for what!?  No success, no happiness, and no hottie by my side!  I should have listened to that voice that told me I needed that hotness formula to win, but noooooo.

Tomoko: (off-screen) Just be glad you didn't!

Erica: Next time, I will win.  And then all the guys will love me!  And it will be awesome! (she leaves laughing maniacally)

Tomoko: (off-screen) Should...we be worried?

Kathy: Well that takes care of everyone...wait, Leena's still here?

(Leena stares upwards as if staring into space, as she sees Meiko waving at her from the balcony)

Kathy: Um...Leena, you're done.  You're not in the end, so...you can clear out now.

Leena: (cutely) I just wanted to say hi to a friend.  Oh, and auntie Tabitha: I did well!  Hope your little cub can hug you when she gets back to the states!
(She bows and then leaves the stage)

Kathy: Well...that was weird. (to herself: Auntie Tabitha?)  But we do have our finalists finally.

Gail: Oh please.  That was the most rockin' version of "Cherry Bomb" ever and you chose Marvel Girl?

Linda: If I had a Space Stone right now, I would...

Kathy: (calmly) Listen, you two, can't you just save it until we get to the final announcements?

Gail: Oh, you'd do what?  Let me contemplate while I sit in my Mobius Chair.

Linda: (eyes glowing) What was that, Terraxia!?

(Cecelia immediately growls without transforming with her eyes flashing into cougar form, shutting both of them up before turning back)

Cecelia: (civily) Go ahead, dear.

Kathy: Well...thanks mom.  Anyway, time to get to the rankings for this competition.  So then, for fifth place we have...luckily...MISS LINDA ISABELLA!

(Linda breathes a sigh of relief and starts to leave, trying to calm herself down, but turns around before she goes)

Linda: (assertively) I may have gotten in by a coin toss...but at least I'm happy.  Even if I didn't win.

(She leaves as Gail just stares at her and wonders if she did the right thing)

Gail: Hey, Linda.  No hard feelings, right?  Still coming over after this?  I could let you borrow a copy of the first volume of "Sandman" or something.

Linda: Only if you read the entire Starlin run on both Captain Marvel and Warlock.

Gail: Captain Marvel...you mean Shazam?

Linda: (tears in eye) We'll talk later.

(She leaves leaving Kathy and the other four on the stage)

Kathy: Well...considering she was the last in, I'm somehow not surprised she's the first gone in 5th place.  Which gets us to 4th, which goes to...MISS HARUNA USHIZONO!

(Haruna walks forth with a bit of a wiggle as she seems to show some confidence)

Haruna: Well what did you know?  Seriously, the hula-hooping bit was actually something I hadn't done since college.  I'm just really surprised that it got me this far.

Kathy: Well it was an...interesting performance to say the least.

Haruna: Do you think maybe if I upped my soundtrack I would have at least gotten third?  Higher productivity is always an interest of mine.

Kathy: Sure, it would have gone well.

Haruna: And maybe less wobble around the chest and more around the backside...

Kathy: (blushing) Anyway, congratulations...

Haruna: (continues questioning) And maybe if I was able to swirl my hips in a way to look more seductive...

(She leaves the stage as Cecelia tries to throw something on to it)

Kathy: Mom, not now!

Cecelia: What, I wanted to give her my number for later.

Kathy: As I said, not now!

Cecelia: (gets up) Maybe she's still backstage or something.  Would love getting my tail in her cheeks...

(Mrs. Webb abandons her post leaving Kathy on the stage)

Kathy: Well, it's down to the final three.  So then, with third place...

(The three remaining finalists look with anticipation)

Kathy: MISS CINDY SNOW!

(Julie seems to let out a huge sigh of relief for some strange reason as Cindy appears slightly stunned)

Cindy: (stunned) I…I thought I was going to win this.  All that hard work.  All that practice after school…I thought I had this.

Voice: (offscreen) You did well kid.  I’m just happy you got this far.

(Out of nowhere as goth-looking girl approaches Cindy and puts her arms around her)

Cindy: Ivy…you were here?  I thought you stayed home.

Lenore: (appears from the side) Well she wasn’t going to show up, but I was able to convince her to find a cheap hotel in another part of London.

Ivy: I’ve been mostly checking out the clubs at night and keeping my profile low.  Werewolf community is rather active here; still underground-ish but more active than back home, so it isn’t like I wasn’t doing anything.

Cindy: (crying) Oh you guys…you’re the best!

(The cheerleader hugs Ivy and Lenore as she lets it out in tears)

Ivy: Maybe we can check out someplace for dinner together.

Lenore: How about Chinese, my treat.

Ivy: Sure Lee Ho Fok’s is still open, though?

Lenore: Not the original but I did hear that there is a couple tribute restaurants in another part of the area.  Beef chow mein’s pretty good…

Cindy: Thanks…I think I need it after all I expended out there…

(The trio leave the stage together, leaving only Kathy, Julie and Zhen)

Kathy: Well…that only leaves these two.  The strange thing is that they both seem to be multi-stage transformation girls but their performances were rather remarkable regardless.

Zhen: (proudly) Mine was the best, admit it!

Julie: (arrogantly) You only just showed off brutish usage of draconian elemental control.  My performance was elegant and classy.

Kathy: Well, I do sort of wonder if anyone else has anything to say before we get to the winner.

(The camera cuts to both the Quinn puppet and Meiko slumped over and Tomoko poking her head up with her puppet still in hand)

Kathy: (confused) Um…Tomoko?  What happened up there?

Tomoko: (disturbed) You don’t want to know.

(The camera cuts and shows Hydie and Kumako sleeping together, on top of each other’s breasts; Hydie between the she-bear’s cleavage and vice-versa for Kumako and the Hyde’s like they made pillows of one another)

Tomoko: This thing has been going on for so long that I think they became worn out and just took…um…a nap.  I don’t mind doing another one of these but I do fear what will happen if or when Quinn wakes up…

Kathy: This has been a longer than usual entry, hasn’t it.  I think we all want this to end already.

Tomoko: It’ll be great to get back to…well, not sure.  I did hear that San Diego wants us back but I’m not sure I can convince Ms. Daniels to take the trip to Texas after the last few years.

Kathy: Know I’m not going down there.  Got enough problems with mom and school that I’m not sure I really belong there.

Tomoko: By the way: Zhen, sort of find it strange how well you’ve lasted.  You were fifth in the original Fan Mail Swimsuit competition and I sort of didn’t expect you to last that long around our parts, especially since you were probably one of the really huge transformations we had and I always thought you were a bit of a joke.

Zhen: (happily) Thanks, Tomoko!  Tell Quinn up there I said hi!

Tomoko: She…is happy for you too.

Zhen: (happily) Yay!  I can’t wait until I win so we can go flying together!

Tomoko: Eh…she’s sleeping with her…um…teddy bear now….so maybe later?

Zhen: (oblivious) OK!

Tomoko: Oh and Julie: from not making the top five in the third swimsuit contest to top two in the runner-up competition.  How does that feel?

Julie: Justified.  I really am the classiest girl here and I think people finally came around to realize it.

Tomoko: Sure that’s what your other side would think?

Julie: What, her?  If she was in the contest, she would have done something as embarrassingly adorable as that cheerleading werewolf.  And as you saw, that wouldn’t have won anything.  She needed me to win this.

Tomoko: And your other, other side? (giggles)

(Julie ignores her and pouts as Kathy starts speaking again)

Kathy: Well with that, it’s finally time to announce the winner.  Our final two finalists are Liu Zhen, who gave is a cool icy performance in the skies of the theater; and Julie Hopkins who gave us something classy and…um…sensual.  Any final thoughts before the final announcement?

Zhen: (happily) Did I win yet?  I know I won.

Julie: Even if I didn’t win, I’m still the best looking competitor bar none.  I think I won’t be making a big deal even if I took second.

Kathy: Glad to know.  So then, the envelope please.

Candice: (off-screen) Now?

Kathy: Yes.  Now.

(The drums roll and Candice darts back on stage.  For a moment she trips face first due to her mass and she giggles as Kathy just goes to get the envelope.  Both Liu Zhen and Julie look straight in the camera showing some nerves as she gets the envelope and opens it up…and breathes a huge sigh of relief before speaking)

Kathy: Zhen?

Zhen: (cutely) Yes?

Kathy: (excited) YOU WON!!!

(Zhen looks beaming as she just raises her hands up excitedly in victory and confetti somehow falls from the stage.  Gilbert Gotteib’s “Now That We’ve Made It” starts playing as Julie looks down at her topaz gem, sheds a tear and smiles)

Julie: No…I got this far.  I think I did what I came here to do.

Kathy: So with that said…

Zhen: (excited) I WON!  HEAR THAT QUINN, I WON!

Tomoko: (off-camera) KEEP IT DOWN, SHE’S TRYING TO SLEEP!

Zhen: (excited) I WON!  I WON!

Kathy: (trying to wipe the confetti off) Well…that was an interesting competition.  I’m a bit surprised by the result but it was fair I say.

(The screen comes back on, this time with Carol Ann starting to speak something as if similar to Julie’s “Quality of Mercy” striptease, but in a massive Southern Belle dress)

Carol Ann: (reciting)

‘They met me in the day of success: and I have
Learned by the perfectest report, that they have more in
Them than mortal knowledge.’

Kathy: (stares at the screen): WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HERE!?

Carol Ann: (interrupted) Well before I was so rudely interrupted, my act!  It’s from the first act of MacBeth if you may ask.

Zhen: (happily) YES!  YES!

Kathy: THE COMEPTITION IS OVER!  WAIT UNTIL NEXT TIME ATARU THROWS ONE OF THESE!

Carol Ann: Who knows when that will be!  Besides, I didn’t get to do my act last time since that teal monster started singing!

Hilda: (calmly) Listen to them, Carol; you’ll have another chance.

Carol Ann: But when?  My chance with the swimsuit competition is done and this was probably a one-time thing!  I just want to get my chance to do my thing!

Xiaofan: Here, take this and calm down. (she plants a peanut in front of the belle)

Hilda: No, not that!

Carol Ann: (smells) Nut?  I smell…(eyes start to change) NUTS!!!!!

Hilda: (panicking) TURN IT OFF, NOW!

(It turns off but the audio remains on as we hear Carol Ann’s voice get crazier and crazier and Xiaofan and Hilda trying to restrain her all while Kathy looks blankly at the screen, then to Tomoko)

Kathy: So…is it over?

Tomoko: (turns and sees Hydie and Kumako still asleep) Yep, I say it is.

(The camera focuses in on Liu Zhen still jubilant for her win as it fades out)


Epilogue:

(The camera comes on to Liu Zhen, but fully transformed into her massive ice dragoness form, on top of a set of mountains similar to the Himalayas.  The epilogue is entirely in a Mandarin dialect but there are English subtitles)

Zhen: (translated) I grew up in a small farming town and was merely just some plain looking farmer’s daughter long before my transformation into the glorious form I’ve become.

(The next camera shows her putting a draconian claw up as if testing the temperature)

Zhen: (translated) I know I obsess too much in winning, but when you’ve become what I am now, you sort of think you can just dominate everyone with ease.  It isn’t true but you have to think positive, that’s my philosophy.

(The camera next shows her creating an “ice trail” in the deep cold with her flying figure)

Zhen: (translated) When I heard about the second-chance contest being a talent show, I knew I had nothing as a human to win this; but as a dragon, it would be a snap.  But with the restrictions, I knew it had to be special.

(The next shot shows her flying upwards as if making the beginnings of a snowflake)

Zhen: (translated) I had to learn how to further control the cold so that I could create sculptures in the air I could destroy and make a huge beautiful snowstorm indoors.

(The next shot shows an imperfect snowflake and Zhen on a mountain tip shaking her head)

Zhen: (translated) My evolution has given me super-fast flight capabilities, so reaching a point where I could train was easy enough; but making the snowflake…that was the hard part.

(The next shot show ice streaks in the sky above the mountains and the silhouette of the massive nurse dragon)

Zhen: (translated) I unfortunately had to stay in the mountains for a bit to get it right, and it really didn’t make me very well liked with the locals.

(The next shot shows several sherpas and climbers complaining at the snow being thrown about by the dragoness, who tries to bow down in apology)

Zhen: (translated) I try to explain it but they just see me as nothing more than another monster similar to the local legends of the humanoid ape-man.

(The camera shows her working in the cold night with streaks appearing above the mountains)

Zhen: (translated) I had to work at night to make sure that I was able to not hurt anyone
.
(The camera shows a final massive snowflake high above the Himalayas in the deep night with the moon out)

Zhen: (translated) And ultimately I was able to make it a success.

(The camera shows three more pics, one of Zhen approaching the snowflake, the next the impact and the last the snow falling from it’s destruction)

Zhen: (translated) And I knew I was ready to win this competition.

(The final shot shows Zhen, back in her human form in a very touristy outfit with a massive blue dragon keychain on a hand-made purse)

Zhen: (cutely, translated) Of course, I still had to get there by conventional means.  I mean after what happened before, you have to be somewhat careful.

(The camera fades out and returns to the card from the start with Pam speaking)

Pam: (off-screen) And that shall conclude our events in Elstree for this broadcast of the Fan Mail talent show.  I hope you found it as entertaining as we have; or at least you were a bit amused.  And if not, then maybe we should try harder for next time.  With that said, this is Pamela Strummer, your announcer for the evening, bidding you good night and god bless.





(The camera fades out…but then the camera returns to the stage in Elstree with Tomoko with a broom sweeping everything up)

Tomoko: (disgruntled) Quinn really should be up about now helping me sweep this mess up.  Why the heck are she and that bear still asleep; I’m not the one who should be suffering, I’m just the cute model. And seriously, whose idea was this to use confetti for the ending?  And of course we’re the ones who have to clean it up; I heard tomorrow they’re going to be having some sort of knitting competition or something in here.  

Taeko: (in box, cutely) I actually like sweeping!

Tomoko: And who the heck has an alternate personality that likes housework?

Taeko: (in box) Is there anything wrong with that?

(As Tomoko continues to grumble, Genta Raurstar, the mystery man who did the “Manah Manah” sketch in pt. 1 reappears with a tapedeck on a bench watching)

Tomoko: You know you can go home now.  I have no clue who you are or anything, but it’s all over.

(The man points at the tape deck)

Tomoko: Eh, I have no clue what you want to play, but get it over with.  Really I’m too cute to deal with this sort of thing.

(He puts the tape deck on and strange Japanese music starts playing.  Tomoko’s face turns cross and scrunched)

Tomoko: (weirdly) Japanese kabuki music?

(She shrugs her shoulders and continues to sweep.  The mystery man turns off the tape deck after Tomoko leaves and speaks as a tympani start drumming)

“Mystery Man”: What?  I promised I’d homage all five seasons of “The Muppet Show”…promise kept.

(He winks as the final notes of the Muppet Show theme plays before the screen blacks out as Zoot’s last sax play again, this time with a logo)

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