SFM - 30

Welcome to another heart-stopping installment of "Fan Mail for the Stranger", where if you survive reading this, then there is probably something wrong with you too.  While most of the time we end up getting letters that just seem to be about showing some transformation or some girl we've never had before, this one caught us by surprise.  It's been a while but we actually got a question that won't lead to a typical situation...at least we don't think so.  So with that said:

Ataru: I read your recent "Giant-Sized Creatures" installment; interesting stuff I admit.  So many girls that I didn't really expect them!  So...considering that you got your words out of the way, what do Tomoko and Quinn think about all these people?  Or anyone else!?  What do they say?

Oh boy...I was fearing this.  Yeah, there hasn't been any comments in the peanut gallery because, for once, it was about them asking their opinion of matters.  So with that said...let's just get this over with.

(The camera turns on to Quinn and Tomoko behind a desk similar to the one from the 12/21/12 fiasco.  We overhear them as the camera comes on...)

Tomoko: ...Why the heck didn't they get me for Ataru's birthday!?  You...I sort of get, maybe...but come on, Madison?

Quinn: She really didn't want to be there I admit.  And it really got worse when she got hot, bothered and bedeviled.  The good news is I wasn't myself at the time so I didn't have to put up with it.

Tomoko: So how do you think Hydie did with her?

Quinn: (sighs) I don't know and I don't care.  The good news is that she didn't piss her off too badly or I wouldn't even be here now.  But then again I doubt she'd piss anyone off that easily.

Tomoko: So you care about life after all?  Maybe you did change.

Quinn: (blushing) If...if I were to go it would be on my terms!  I don't want to die because some busty bimbo is risky with my body!  I'm not a fan of time-sharing but I have no choice in the matter.

Tomoko: (noticing the camera) Hey...I think we're on.

Quinn: And furthermore...(notices the camera and backs away) Never mind.

Tomoko: (cutely) Konnichiwa, minna!  This is your favorite model girl welcoming you to...well, our question!  

Quinn: (sighs) Yeah, instead of getting a busty perky blonde and a flat cynical brunette, you get a busty perky brunette and a bustier cynical blonde.

Tomoko: And hopefully a bustier still redhead coming our way too!

Quinn: (face-palming) Don't push your luck, Tomoko.

Tomoko: With that said, earlier Quinn and I were interviewed about all of the girls that Ataru actually has in his group and asked about our opinions of them!  And now we're going to air the results!

Quinn: (sighs) We don't have much choice in the matter.  The question was actually for us...

Tomoko: (cutely) Finally, real fan mail!

Quinn: (continues)...And if Ataru wants an answer we're going to give it to him.  

Tomoko: So with that said...let's do Quinn's answer first!

Quinn: (blushes) What!?  Wait, I'd thought you'd go first...

Tomoko: You know what they say: grumps before stars!

Quinn: Said the future D-list celebrity...

(A video comes on a monitor which the camera closes in on and appears to "mesh with" as Quinn's answer begins)

Quinn: What do I think of all the other girls?  Seriously, you want to know my honest opinion?  Well I guess I have to....mostly because if I don't then Hydie will say something and I'll never hear the end of it...that and there will be edits on this tape I doubt you want to have.

Let me just get this out first: Tomoko is an obnoxious, egotistical, self-loving brat.  She's too obsessed with herself and her own potential and in being the cute one, when in reality she just has no clue at what really is out there or that people get sick of her actions.  She's never going to get anywhere because she keeps acting pushy and I'm surprised that she even has any friends at all!  Yet somehow I feel like she can't be too bad, just needs someone to right her path...which for the moment is me but mostly because of circumstances.

Regarding the other model girls, honestly the only other one I know and feel respectful for is Anna: yeah she's really daffy but she's loving and appears to have a real heart amidst the costumes she wears.  She is  a sweetheart and I think it's genuine.  I don't know the others but Angel scares me with her flaunting attitude and that bosom...I can't believe that someone would grow that big naturally...there is Sakura too but I don't know her so I can't say.

Probably of all the other girls, there are a few others that I do admit to admiring or respecting, even if just in a "baring with the burden" aspect.  One has to be Jijy: I'm not sure if weretigers are as respectful but she has strength beneath her paranoia.  She's probably the best of us all if you think about it.  Then there's Kathy, who I think is in a similar situation as myself if not worse.  Unlike me, her situation of being a werecougar is genetic, she's stuck with an entire family and just wants to make do and not turn into a lust-filled monster...well, like your typical cougar attitudes.  I'd like to be friends with Kathy if I could since I think we can support each other...but I fear what Hydie or Cecilia would pull.  I wouldn't mind Olivia either since she seems really shy and sweet...but that whole werecow thing is just so...wrong.  Seriously, "werecow"?  The idea of drinking milk from one...ugh.

On the other hand there are girls that are just a bundle of problems to me.  I recently had a run in with Madison and just the whole demonic side to her feels like something I should not get anywhere near.  I don't think demonesses and....um...me should mix.  Then there's Candice, the little ball of power that keeps thinking I'm her auntie or something.  I feel real sorry for Edgar, her brother, who really feels decent and a good conversationalist for having such a destructive power as her as a sister.  And then there's Heather....she's just an idiot who is too obsessed with her duty to really know what really matters.  If she keeps spending her time searching for werewolves she'll have a heart attack one day and realize there is nothing else to her life!  Some say she really is a lot like me but I just don't see it.  And speaking as such, Ms. Glenwood...for those who think I was ever that bad, she's way worse.  One of these days I'm going to have to deal with her and her accusations and stereotypes.

That's really it.  I looked over the rest of the list several times and none of the other girls struck me, even if I have talked to them somehow or not...no wait, one more I have to add: can someone tell Liu Zhen to leave me alone whenever there's a get-together?  Look I get you're big and strong and are probably the bustiest weredragon in your section of China but seriously you have to have more to you than that.  You really need to find a hobby other than "bothering Quinn" and "playing with Hydie"...yeesh, you spend one stupid swimsuit contest with the kid and she thinks you're best friends forever.

(The camera turns off and we see Tomoko sternly staring at Quinn who seems to just look puzzled)

Quinn: What?  They told me to be honest.

Tomoko: Luckily you like me enough...but try to think about what you say next time, for your sake.

Quinn: They wanted us to speak our feelings, so can't I just speak my feelings my way?  Why not just show yours and we'll see what you think about me.

Tomoko: (turns cute to the audience) Yes, lets.  Unlike Quinn, I actually speak nice about everybody I know.  So let's watch my clips and you'll see how a real professional handles it!

(The same video turns on as Tomoko appears upon it)

Tomoko: Let me just start with this: if it weren't for Hydie I don't think that I could even stand Quinn one bit!  She's a bitchy, obnoxious, insensitive girl who tries to show her intelligence over all of us only to try and prove herself in a way that just shows her faults.  Her writing is terrible, her attitude could use tweaking and I don't think there is one person on this website who likes her...no not Hydie, Quinn.  Heck I'm shocked that Ataru likes her as much as he does; probably just feels like she's his favorite for some reason or another; but I don't get that guy one bit.

(The video turns off as we see Quinn smirking at Tomoko who suddenly is on the defensive)

Tomoko: (sighs) Well OK, you said your thing, I said mine.  But trust me, I say way nicer things about everyone who isn't you.

Quinn: (smirking) Yeah, let's just see how low you can go...

(The video turns back on)

Tomoko: Regarding the non-model girls, the first one who really comes to mind is Layla.  Seriously while I am jealous on how buff and busty she is, she really does feel like someone I could make great friends with and who I want to go shopping at a mall.  She carries the bags obviously.  Actually while I love Layla, I sort of wished I knew more about her friend Momo; she's in the industry, I'm in the industry, and she has something that I wish I had...I wonder how far she's been able to make it since we last saw her?  Regarding the anthros, obviously several stand out in my head.  Jijy for one; dunno why but I guess the exoticness of being an Indian tiger girl...well OK that's not exotic but being Indian is.  Sheri's another one that...well I rather avoid if my health has anything to say about it.  Clumsy super-werewolf plus Tomoko equals trouble.  I also really seem to like Brittany being a bit of a flirt like me...though I fear the day I get a bear hug from her.  Well OK, there's her and there's also that crazy Chicago fan Leena...but somehow I feel better with Brittany, but Leena seems cool too.  Same goes to Lily...though I wish Ataru paid more attention to her cause she just is way more put together in body and mind than most of his girls.  But that's my opinion.

There are some though I probably wouldn't really get too well along with besides the point.  First and foremost: what is with Ataru and those minks?  Seriously, Ming, the twins, that Sexy Nightgown owner...minks aren't that interesting and just seem like walking fur coats!  And even Ming feels a bit overplayed with her contrasts...I guess I don't get them like Quinn doesn't' get werecows.  Speaking of which: I don't mind the cows but I think Ataru is friends with too many of those mooing things.  Really, all he needs is Olivia, the rest can just be put in a pasture to eat grass or something.  That Zhen girl seems a bit too over the top too...even if  sort of blame myself for letting Ataru allowing her to have a piece of Dragini Fruit.  If anyone should be hyper-evolved like that it should be me!  Regarding the other girls, I think that crazy Victoria seems a bit too much of an upper-class snob to me, mostly from her encounter with Quinn.  What is with those New England girls anyway?  I have zero clue with how Ataru met her and I don't care who or what she becomes!  And those worrywart catgirls...I don't know who is worse, Allison or Jane...if it weren't for Brittany I doubt I'd even know Jane existed!

So I guess that leaves the models on my end...I think someone just likes having me the little one compared to all of them.  Luckily Sakura has her own body issues that I'm able to take advantage of but do you think I like seeing a girl like her with boobs I'll never possess?  But hey, it's great having a lacky.  Unfortunately, Angel is just as if not bustier than Sakura and is no one's lacky...which means when I get smushed, it's out of love...yeesh.  All that running around wearing little to nothing with that perfect dark skin; it makes us pale-colored girls squeamish!  Then there's Mei-Lin...never talk to her when she's angry or happy...or excited...or at all.  She isn't as massive as Layla but she is willing to use all of her power if need be.  I nearly broke an arm because she wanted the last beef bun...the less said the better.  Then there's Anna...too chipper for my taste.  I think Austria is just a European version of Brazil with way more fancy clothes.  And as for clothes: stay away from Akane's closet or else!  Probably the only girl I can't complain about is Pam for some reason: she's cool but I dunno if it's her look or just the fact she can actually play a guitar.  Don't know how she got the looks to be in our line of work.

Guess that's it but sort of want to run a few more down just to make sure.  Madison just spooks me out with her powers, same goes for Rose.  Personally I think Amber is a GAPAS girl but that's me.  I don't get Ataru's avoidance of Mrs. Kraft due to copyright reasons considering how well Quinn turned out...on that note, Kasumi seems cute but who is Kasumi's master anyway?  Trish isn't too bad, same with Rusty.  I'd love to see more of that fairy girl but I'm sort of afraid of how she would be around these parts.  I don't get the Webbs or that Candice brat but I think I rather leave them to Quinn than be bugged by them myself.  And Xiaofan has potential but keep that squirrel friend of hers away from the nuts...and that's about it.

(The camera turns off as Quinn stares at Tomoko with everything she said before speaking)

Tomoko: What, did I say something wrong?

Quinn: Actually I sort of wished I remembered Layla.  Unfortunately I don't know her that well compared to you and she is rather notable.

Tomoko: I'm happy that you remembered that insane Glenwood character.  I wouldn't have ever remembered someone like her.

Quinn: (sighs) We have a few disagreements, that's all.  Though I feel a bit surprised you prefer Lily over Jijy.  I know nothing about that other tiger but Jijy just feels way more mature and capable than you made her out to be.

Tomoko: Well honestly I'm sort of happy you can deal with nuts like Anna.  If I have to say how I have to hear from her how everything is "wunderbar" I think I'll crack.

Quinn: So...agree to disagree?

Tomoko: (smirking) Definitely.  And with that said...

(At that moment, the video monitor turns back on and a massive blue dragon female can be seen through it)

"Dragoness": (excited) Quinn!  Tomoko!  How happy to see you!

Tomoko: (smirks) Well...Zhen, what a surprise.

Quinn: (face in hand) Great, her at this moment?

Zhen: (cutely) I heard my name being mentioned by both of you!  It's great to hear such great things!

Tomoko: (cutely laughing) Well...not all of it was necessarily great...

Quinn: (quietly) Ix-nay, dummy.  Did you hear your comments a moment ago!?  Or do you want us annihilated by the might of a dragoness ultra-evolved thanks to a Dragini Fruit.

Tomoko: Well...most of that was Quinn here.  You know what a grump she is hating everyone

Quinn: (shocked) What!?  I said good things about several girls today!  Comparatively you have just as big a mouth in what you revealed!

Tomoko: I mean you know these emos, Zhen.  They just complain about everyone and everything, never satisfied or happy by anyone or anything.  I seriously don't get why Ataru keeps her around.

Quinn: (sighs) And thus the countdown to draconian annihilation begins.

Zhen: (cutely) Well I don't think you meant any harm with them.  I forgive whatever you say, Quinn.

Quinn: Phew...well score one for having sanity in this world.

Tomoko: (panicking) But...don't you want to hear any more of what she has to say?  I mean this busty blonde here...

Quinn: (sighs) And there she goes with that...

Tomoko: (panicking) She said many things...horrible things...I can replay them all right now!

(Tomoko seems to push a button on the remote hoping for something to show up,  but all it does is start an audio of Mexican mariachi playing in the background)

Zhen: Well you all are in a happy mood, so maybe I should come over!

Quinn: No...not right now Zhen.  We're...just trying to recover, yeah.  Maybe next time.

Zhen: (happily) OK, can't wait!  Tell Hydie I say hi!

(The camera turns off but the mariachi music won't turn off.  Quinn just leaves while Tomoko fiddles some more with the remote)

Tomoko: (unhappy) Oh great, now everybody's leaving.  And this stupid thing won't turn off...(turns upwards to the camera and giggles) Um, Ataru, can't you help me out a bit?  I mean I am one of your favorites, right?

(She pulls down her outfit revealing way more cleavage and undoes the ribbon in her hair making it flow downwards)

Tomoko: (cutely) Pretty please...

(At that moment, the camera turns off as does the music)

Well he  had to throw some bone to the kid.  Nutty or not, she is still his character after all.

Quinn: Funny, he should have left her like that.  Considering we nearly got a super-dragon on our backs thanks to her big mouth...

Anyway, if you have any other girls you'd like to hear opinions regarding the "Giant-Sized Creatures" list, just drop us a line and we'll see what we can do.  Some probably will be way more obvious than others...but there could be surprises.  Heck, some may show up again soon, whether you want them to or not!

Quinn: But don't push too hard.  He's probably having a hard time dealing with us regulars.